The Reclamation of Autumn: Reclaiming Agency from Holiday Dogma
A Newsletter from Becoming Themself — Sex & Relationship Coaching
The air is cooling, the veil is thinning, and we are entering the portal of late October—a sacred, somatic intersection of Samhain, Halloween, and La Toussaint.
For our ancestors, this season was a felt, visceral reality. The last of the harvest was gathered, the dark half of the year was welcomed, and the dead were remembered at the hearth. It was a season of deep presence, original voice, and honoring the natural rhythm of decay and rest.
Yet, for so many of us raised under the heavy thumb of religious dogma, purity culture, and patriarchal surveillance, this time of year triggers a very different kind of survival mode.
Instead of an invitation to turn inward, we are handed a prescribed script. We are pushed into a gauntlet of commercialized expectations, forced relational dynamics, and systemic pressure to overconsume, overspend, and perform high-vibe cheerfulness. We are told how to celebrate, what to buy, and who to perform for.
It is an architecture designed to disconnect us from our bodies, strip away our relational agency, and replace authentic culture with mandatory exhaustion.
But you are a wild one. And you carry the medicine to choose differently.
Reclaiming your roots means shedding the shame of the dogma that told you your wildness, your pleasure, your anger, and your grief were dangerous. This season is your somatic invitation to step out of the performance and step into your full-spectrum expression.
How We Somatically Reclaim the Season
Here is how we can hold our own boundaries, tend to our nervous systems, and reclaim our sovereignty as the holiday season approaches:
Honor True Grief Over Performed Joy: Religion and dogma often demand that we swallow our darker emotions. But true autumn tradition invites the shadows in. You do not have to perform fake cheerfulness for anyone’s comfort. Let yourself feel the weight of what has been lost this year. Grief is a holy, somatic release that clears space for your original voice.
Reclaim Financial & Energetic Sovereignty: The commercial machine demands your labor and capital to prove your worthiness or love. Set a boundary. True ritual requires your presence, not a high credit card balance. If an invitation, a tradition, or a purchase drains your life force, your No is a sacred, self-full act.
Dethroning Relational Stress: You do not owe your energy to toxic dynamics or dogmatic family structures just because "it's tradition." Reclaim your agency by choosing who shares your hearth. Create boundaries that protect your nervous system so you can show up in your authentic capacity for the connections that actually feed you.
Bring Play Back to the Wild Body: Before Halloween was commercialized, it was a night of inversion, mischief, and animal masks—a visceral, playful expression of the shadow. Reclaim the playful nature of this time by moving your body, dressing up for your own pleasure, and letting your inner wild child out to play without the gaze of perfectionism.
We are dismantling the old scripts so we can live from our original design. Let the dead leaves fall. Shed the dogma, reclaim your time, and step into an autumn that actually belongs to you.
A 3-Minute Somatic Anchor for the Season
When you feel the pressure of holiday expectations building up in your chest or jaw, try this quick check-in:
Find the Boundary: Place both hands over your ribcage. Feel the rise and fall of your breath. Remind your nervous system: My body is my home.
Orient to the Room: Slowly let your eyes find three objects that feel grounding or comforting to you right now.
Ask the Sovereign Question: "Is this obligation a 'Yes' for my body, or am I performing to stay palatable?" Listen closely to the immediate physical response. Honor whatever answer arises.
Ways to Gather & Work Together
If you are ready to step out of survival mode, unravel old conditioning, and cultivate deeper intimacy with yourself and others, here is how we can connect:
1-on-1 & Relational Coaching (A Few New Client Openings Available):
I currently have a few select openings for individuals or couples ready to dive into deep, dedicated somatic coaching containers. Together, we’ll work on boundary-setting, nervous system regulation, unlearning purity culture, and deepening pleasure and intimacy.
🍁 Lady Camp Livin’:
Tending Grief & Gratitude (Nov 6th–7th)
I am so excited for this one! Join us at Wild Grace in North San Juan, CA for Lady Camp Livin’, a nourishing overnight gathering designed to help us tend to our grief, honor our gratitude, and resource our nervous systems for the season ahead.
When: Friday–Saturday, November 6th–7th (5:00 PM – 5:00 PM)
Cost: $200 (Includes 3 classes, 3 nourishing meals, basic lodging, plus access to a pool and hot tub!)
Facilitators:
Hosted alongside Hanna (Fire Tender) and Amethyst (Barefoot Yogini)(Volunteer & scholarship spots available!)
There are only 15 spots left for this intimate retreat space!
Click Here to Claim Your Spot for Lady Camp Livin’
Can’t wait for this one!
There are 15 spots left!
Register at: https://www.mamelanya.com/lady-camp-registration
Book a 45-Minute Curiosity Call Here (Special Introductory Rate)
The Cuddle Lab
Gather with us in Nevada City on Friday, November 20th or Friday, December 11th for a guided evening dedicated to platonic touch, consent, boundary practice, and genuine human connection.
COMING IN THE NEW YEAR:
Kink and BDSM Sandbox (Skills & Practice Series):
I am working behind the scenes on a brand-new, dedicated workshop series for the new year focused on skill-building, safety, communication, and embodied exploration for kinky, power play, and BDSM, locally here in person in Nevada City and if there is enoch interest I will lead in Sacramento too.
💌 Want early access & priority registration? Simply reply directly to this email with the word "YES" and I will add you to the private interest list!
Let the leaves fall, honor your edges, and bring your whole self home.
Stay wild,
Rachel Levesque
Founder of Becoming Themself
Somatica® Certified Sex & Relationship Coach, Intimacy Coach, & Bodyworker
